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The Word 11 (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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11-EurovisionSongContest.txt
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11-EurovisionSongContest.txt
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1996-08-01
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10KB
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287 lines
|1-EUROVISION
|1-FUCK-UP !!
By
ßootßlock/TerraForm
At this very moment in time, the Eurovision song contest (41st) is on!
This article will sort of be a running comentary of this annual "event".
-+-
Fuck knows who's singing now, but she is wearing black, she's blonde,
nice tits. There are 3 twats that are supposedly the "background"
singers. A gimp that looks like a preist and blowing a pipe (harumpf!).
The hosts are on now, the woman is VERY sexy and... they've tried to do
one of those "double-act" jokes - and it fucked-up & wasn't very funny!
-+ There's a break now. You may notice that this article "breaks" up,
that's because I'm doing a "REAL-TIME" comentary. So obviously I'll
spoon up when typing -+
There now showing some crap about fishing (the time now is 9:11pm).
It's now the French entry. There are two wimmin' (quite sexy) singing
the "song" (which is crap and too slow), one in black & one in white.
Hmmm. I wonder when the UK's entry will be one - Gina G is very sexy,
y'know! Not as sexy as Shannon from Home & Away tho'.
Oh for bastards sake, when will this slow French shit finish !?!?
<pause for about 5 secs>
Ahhh, it's finished now. Who's next ?
Slovenia (where the hell is that then??). She looks very nice. She's
blonde, so obviously she's very stupid (your blonde, aren't you Freak ?
=).
The song is called "Dan Naj".... fuck, couldn't type it fast enough!
She's wearing a green dress (luverly tats!), there are two background
singers as well. It's actually quite a nice lovey-dovey song.
Ahhhh....
<pause for 20 secs>
It doesn't mean that it should be on for this long !!
C'mon, get the next entry on........... still singing. Her dress looks
a tad weird. Summat a 5 yr old would wear. Good, it's finished.
Now it's the Netherlands. The wo-man is very shaggable. GET YER TATS
OUT !
OJ Simpson meets Ruby Wax !? What's Terry Wogan on !?!?
What a fuckin' weird piece of cack song. The man singer is one of those
cunts that's so up his own arse, he could give himself blow-jobs. I bet
they nicked this song off of Abba. It sounds very similair. That bloke
is a RIGHT CUNT.
What did I say? I said that bloke is a
|2-CUNT !
Look at the tits on that background singer! About the size of the Epcot
centre in America.
Now it's Belgium. The singer is Liza Dii Bo The songs called "Love Is A
Card Game". FNAAARRRR !
Eugh! What a shitty dress she's wearing. Gord, you should hear how
cack the song is! Ha, she keeps looking into the wrong camera! Bet she
gets shagged by a Pitbull. She looks like the sort into the
"ruff-stuff" (geddit ??) !
Now it's time for Ireland. This should be shit. The song is called
"The Voice". Why do I hate Irish voices so much ?
Three of the singers are very nice. Pffhheee, sounds like one of those
shitty Indian song things! Ohh, I'm expecting some heavy duty bass in
this, by the sounds of it. Bugger, I've heard this song a few days ago
on Ann & Nick. It's not that bad - or good.
I bet she's a virgin. Go on! Give yer hem string a good pullin' !
I am the voice in the boring rain, I am the voice. Sorry, I missed some
of what she's saying. I can't type fast enough!
Now it's Finland. She looks like a Ajax drinker (the singer). Reminds
me a tad of Whigfield - although the tits aren't as good.
So far of the sky above us - that's what the songs called. Eugh! She
doesn't look that sexy - very nice tits. Did you know, I'm typing this
in and I'm watching the song contest at the same time ? Yup, I am now
looking at the telly while I am tapping away at the keys. So I could be
doing a load of typos - although I'd correct `em after I've finished
"commentating".
Hmmm... good arse. Ahem... anyway... erm... the song is shit. It's
just finished. Good.
Now it's a song from Iceland. Whhoooaaa! The singer looks EXACTLY like
Danni Minogue (Kylie's sister) !
Very sexy. Give her a good humpin' & a dumpin'.
Oohhh lloook, she's giving a hot-dog (I *HATE* hot dogs!) a blow job!
Awwww Gord, the song is one of those "doo-wop" jobbies. I wonder why
she's singing part of it in English ?
Haaaww, Haawwww! Fuckin', whats "Shoo-Bee-Doo" !?!?!?!?! That's what
she (and the background singers) are sayin'. FFF-N-ARRRR !
There's no way this shit will win.
It's now time for Poland. The singer's name is Kashka (I'm guessing the
spelling). The song's called "I Want To Know My Sin". Hmm,
interesting.
Very nice body, shame about the song. Very nice eyes, I wonder if
she'll give them to me ?
Bugger it, I'm gonna have a gander at ITV until this cack song is over.
Oooohhh look! There appears to be a film on. Have I Got News For You
is on BBC 2, and The Gaby Roslin show is on Channel 4.
Now it's Bosnia Herzeg..... summat or other. Bugger knows where that
is!
Whoops, I missed about 2 mins of it - I went doon stairs for a drink,
and messed about with the dog a bit (and tried persuading me mumsy to
gimme the £20 I need for that new harddrive I want.
Bugger it. I think the last song is playing now, so I'll stop this
thing I'm writing now. Song Nº 23 is on now, and it is the last one (by
Sweden).
-+-
Urm... I didn't know the UK's entry has been on yet! My mum says it
was song number 2 ! SHIT !
How come all the other times, the UK's entry was pretty much last, but
when I DO ACTUALLY miss the beginning of the contest, it ends up being
one of the first !?!?!?!??!?!?!?
|2-ARRGGGGHHH !
I've got a feelin' that the UK might win. Up to now, all the songs I
have seen are SHIT. Oh fuck, the Swedish song is on now (finally!), and
it sounds trouser-fondling okay (in a slushy luvey kind of way).
Bugger, tits and fannies. Shit! It sounds very good. Awww.. didn't
wanna win anyway.....
Urm.. in a few minutes (or whatever) will be the scoring, I'll write
down the commentary on it (me? Sad ? Nahh....!) ....
What the FUCK IS THIS YODELING SHIT !?!?!?!?!?!?!? There's an old cow
on a mountain - yodelling ! Haw, haw !
Gawd, what the fuck's going on here ! Ha, now there's a man yodeling!
Bloody `ell ! The sad fuckers! OH look, some free advrtising for
"StatNET".
Whoops, this doesn't seem to be the scores. Urm... here they are !
Oh god! Prodigy is on! With the "song" FireStarter ! Urm.. it seems
to be a shitty play thing.
Ooohhh.... I can see some tit !
Their taking the're time with the bloody scores.
|2-C'MON !
Ha! I think the scores will be on now! Shit! They just said that
we'll know the winner in about an hours time! That's bloody ages!
Right, I'll be listing all the points that UK will be getting and who
from :
TURKEY gave the UK : 3 pts
UNITED KINGDOM gave the UK : Don't be daft, we can't vote for us!
SPAIN gave the UK : 0 pts
PORTUGAL gave the UK : 12 pts
CYPRUS gave the UK : 1 pt
MALTA gave the UK : 6 pts
CROATIA gave the UK : 7 pts
AUSTRIA gave the UK : 3 pts
SWITZERLAND gave the UK : 4 pts
GREECE gave the UK : 0 pts
ESTONIA gave the UK : 2 pts
NORWAY gave the UK : 0 pts
FRANCE gave the UK : 8 pts
SLOVENIA gave the UK : 0 pts
NETHERLANDS gave the UK : 0 pts (Sexy babe!)
BELGIUM gave the UK : 12 pts
IRELAND gave the UK : 3 pts (Fuckin' Irish twats!)
FINLAND gave the UK : 0 pts
ICELAND gave the UK : 4 pts
POLAND gave the UK : 0 pts
BOSNIA HERZEGOVINIAgave the UK : 0 pts
SLOVAKIA gave the UK : 6 pts (Sexy Babe!)
SWEDEN gave the UK : 6 pts
WINNER : IRELAND
UK's PLACING : 7th
LOSER(s) : FINLAND (9 points)
For fucks sake, the points where going all over the bastard place!
Ha Ha! When the hostess walked to the other side of the "Blue" room
(while sweden were giving the points), the gfx fucked-up!
Fuck, in my opinion (and pretty much everyone else's in the UK), the
UK's song WAS THE BEST ! This years (1996) contest was a right fuck-up,
thank gord France got a shit score!
Ireland should be banned from the contest. Irish music is crap. Okay,
so maybe the irish singer (Eirmar Quin?) had a very nice voice and a
sexy bod.
There was a lot of countries giving their neighbours a shit load of
points, and soding the rest - even though the others were better.
Fuck knows why I watch this shit. I get a very weird feeling everytime
one of the countries gives out points - a sort of anxiety feeling, but I
WANT, no... I
|2-DEMAND
that they give `em to the UK (if Ireland is part of the UK, why the fuck
are they entering the bastard contest !?).
Well, see ya'all.
Signed
|1-BootBlock/TerraForm
(Joseph Cox)
$768
(I have left all the typos in - although I have taken the)
(the most noticeable ones out! - BB/TF)
$59b
[Erm... sorry Freak, but I seem to have buggered the layout of this
article]
$fafDon't worry mate - Oi did fix it!
end <- because I just do, that's why...